The ABCs of the US Election

Written by: Daniël Eloff

Since the start of the 2016 US presidential race, it has been extremely disappointing from a policy perspective, as not much has been said or discussed when it comes to proper political differences. As this election has been the most dumbed-down election in recent history, here is a synopsis of the election race for kindergarten children:

• A is for America, the country it's in.

• B is for boasting, Donald might-have-been.

• C is for counting, on the day it'll start.

• D is for Democrats, they split us apart.

• E is for Electoral College, 270 to win.

• F is for Florida, a swing state by thin.

• G is for guns, the Second Amendment debate.

• H is for Hillary, eh, not so great.

• I is for independents, Johnson and Stein.

• J is for Justices, who will they assign?

• K is for Kansas, the solid red state.

• L is for ‘lockerroom talk-gate’

• M is for Mexicans, who'll pay for a wall.

• N is for Never Trump, a Republican pitfall.

• O is for Obama, thank goodness he's done.

• P is for Mike Pence, hope he has none.

• Q is for quakes, which a video started.

• R is for Republicans, from values they departed.

• S is for scandals, like water off his back.

• T is for Trump, finally falling for an attack.

• U is for Utah, who is this McMullin?

• V is for Vice President, Tim Kaine seems a run-in.

• W is for Wikileaks, her emails they stalk.

• X is for X-rated, when Trump starts to talk.

• Y is for, why on Earth did this happen?

• Z is for Zzzzzz, the voters have spoken.

Daniël Eloff is an admitted attorney and the Principal Legal Advisor to the Executive Mayor of Cape Town.